A few years ago, a video call before meeting someone felt almost paranoid, like you didn't trust the person enough to just show up. Now it feels like the opposite not doing one feels a little reckless, honestly.

I moved to London from Bosnia for work, and dating in a new city where I knew almost nobody meant I had to figure out fast who was worth my Saturday evening and who wasn't. A fifteen minute video call does more work than three days of texting. You hear how someone actually laughs. You see if the photos matched reality, sure, but more than that, you get a read on their energy are they relaxed, are they present, are they actually listening to you or just waiting for their turn to talk.

I've had calls that ended a conversation politely and calls that made me genuinely excited to meet someone in person. Both outcomes are wins, if you think about it. Nobody wasted an evening on a coffee that was never going to go anywhere.

There's also a safety side to this that I don't think gets talked about enough. A video call is a simple way to confirm someone is who they say they are before you agree to meet up. It's not about being suspicious of everyone it's about being sensible, especially when you're chatting with someone you met through a platform like Tveni rather than through mutual friends.

My advice: don't overthink the setup. You don't need good lighting or a script. Just talk about something small what they had for dinner, a show they're watching, anything. If the conversation flows on camera the way it flowed in text, that's usually a good sign. If it doesn't, that's information too, and it's better to have it now than after an awkward first date.

If you're still wondering how to get the conversation started in the first place, take a look at The Art of the First Message by Trish.